The Damaging Myth of Self-Help
Welcome, everybody. Derek Rydall here, founder of the Law of Emergence and author of the bestselling books Emergence and The Abundance Project. I’m really excited to talk to you today about something that is, I think, one of the most damaging ideas in self-help and spiritual teachings, and that is this whole idea that everything should be flowy. I’m going with the flow. If things are hard, you hear people say, it might be a sign from the Universe it’s not meant to be. No. That is not the way the Universe gives signs.
If that was the case, nothing would have ever gotten done. You think it was easy for Lincoln or Elon Musk or Steve Jobs or Walt Disney or Thomas Edison or Jesus or Buddha or Krishna? Find one individual that’s ever done anything of value that it wasn’t really, really fricking hard, and that the hard, the challenging element of it, is what forged their characters in the fires of their own transformation. I dare you to find one example in history, including your Uncle Joe, who did something valuable that didn’t have to work hard.
We get this message, and we’ve been conditioned in a lot of the spiritual New Age airy-fairy kind of thing that tells us when it’s hard, when the doors don’t open and the windows don’t open, that must mean it’s the wrong path. If you have a desire, if that desire is still burning, you’re still on the right path. It’s because you were designed to get stronger through challenge, to build resilience. It’s time to get rid of our wishbone and get a backbone and let go of this magical thinking.
If you go to a gym, and you’re going to build your body up, do you go, let’s remove all the weights, because I don’t want to sweat? If it’s hard and sweaty, it must be the wrong workout routine. Of course not. It’s hard. Your muscles tear, but that causes them to grow back stronger. That’s how you were designed. If you go to a school, do you go, the only criteria is that it has to be easy? I can’t have any tests that I don’t know the answers to yet. It can’t have to cause my mind to have to work too hard and struggle. Of course not. You wouldn’t learn anything.
I talk about the 10 reps. If you go to the gym, and you can do 10 reps, which one is the hardest? People will say, it’s the first one, because I had to get my butt to the gym. Some will say it’s the tenth one, but actually, it’s the eleventh. It’s the one you can’t do, the one you think you can’t do. That’s the hardest one. Guess where all of the growth happens? In the eleventh rep and beyond. There’s no growth in the first 10 reps. That’s maintenance.
So, not only were you designed to do hard, but if you want to grow and have the life of your dreams, you must always find your edge, your eleventh rep. If you want to have what others don’t, you must be willing to do what others won’t. You were designed to do hard. When you do hard on purpose, with a vision, you will activate and develop your muscles, mental, emotional, physical, energetic, financial, creative, relational. You’ll get stronger and stronger and stronger, and your instrument will become a coil that can carry more capacity. You’ll go from being a 100-watt light bulb to being able to carry 1,000 watts. Because if you don’t work it out, if you open to 1,000 watts, it’s going to blow your coil out. But if you get strong by doing hard on purpose, you will develop the capacity for unlimited expression and abundance.
Until next time, remember to live authentically, love unconditionally, and follow your destiny.
To Your Emergence!
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