Today we’re talking about and answering the question how do I choose which way to go? In terms of should I do this? Should I do that? How do I stop just trying to figure things out and actually choose a path, choose a lane, choose a direction?
[bctt tweet=”Just commit and go for it!”]This is one of the most common challenges and struggles with entrepreneurial creative types, especially if you have that unique design of the Renaissance type of person, because there’s so many possible ideas, so many things that you want to do, and so many possibilities, and primarily it also comes from some unconscious, or maybe conscious, false assumptions and fears, such as I need to know for sure that the choice I make is going to be the right one, and you may not be aware, but often that’s really what’s underlying your fear, or your procrastination, or your hesitation to just make a choice, to just commit and go for it.
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Welcome to Ask Derek, where we do shorter trainings based on the questions that you’ve asked in the forums, in the groups, in the social media platforms, and just throughout the weeks and months and years. Questions that have been the most common, and those that have become the most urgent, and almost archetypal in their nature, and this is to get a little bit shorter responses, little bit shorter trainings, a quick hit, or at least quick by my standards. I can talk for hours, as you probably know. Today we’re talking about and answering the question how do I choose which way to go? In terms of should I do this? Should I do that? How do I stop just trying to figure things out and actually choose a path, choose a lane, choose a direction?
This is one of the most common challenges and struggles with entrepreneurial creative types, especially if you have that unique design of the Renaissance type of person, because there’s so many possible ideas, so many things that you want to do, and so many possibilities, and primarily it also comes from some unconscious, or maybe conscious, false assumptions and fears, such as I need to know for sure that the choice I make is going to be the right one, and you may not be aware, but often that’s really what’s underlying your fear, or your procrastination, or your hesitation to just make a choice, to just commit and go for it. If you look back when you were a kid, and you were playing different imaginary games and making stuff up, you spent a minute or two coming up with the game and who was going to play what, and it’s lava, and you’re going to be a captain, and you’re going to be this, or you’re going to be Peter Pan. You’re going to be Captain Hook. You didn’t care. You might have argued for a moment who got to be who, but making a decision to commit to that path and that particular game you didn’t have all the stakes to it.
You have to, in a very real way, enter in the same kind of childlike curiosity, sense of adventure, sense of wonder. Now I’m not saying go take out a loan, mortgage your house, and make those kind of decisions, and that’s usually not where the problem lies. The problem lies with just making a choice to begin to really create something, and when we’re talking at this level of creating an entrepreneurial program or product as a coach, teacher, healer, author, etc. it’s mostly your time and energy as an investment. The stakes are relatively low, and the other thing is that in many of these cases you can’t really know what the “right” way to go is until you go.
I’ve used the analogy often. It’s like sitting in your car waiting for the GPS to give you all of the directions, and then you’ll start driving, but it doesn’t work that way. Right? You have to start driving, and then it starts telling you which turns to make. When do you know when you’ve actually been guided correctly? If you’ve never been to the place it’s taking you, when do you know it actually guided you correctly? The answer is, the very final turn, that very last moment. Because, for all you know, it could have been taking you in the exact wrong direction, but you follow step by step as it unfolds. If you’re an explorer, and you’re going through and exploring new terrain, you can’t wait, come up with all of the decisions and answers and know if it’s the right track until you climb at least that first mountain, or that first hill and get a higher perspective.
The same is true with many of the decisions in our life. Now, I’m not saying there’s not certain elements of being a good steward, doing due diligence, but, again, that’s usually not the problem. Of course, do your due diligence. Do the research. Study a program. Read a book. Make sure you know most or some of the best practices that are available to you, but, again, as I work with people, and I’m teaching them all the best practices, and they still struggle to decide which one of the many ideas should I choose? Should I write this book? Should I make this my program? Should I offer this? There’s other criteria when it comes to market testing and checking with your audience and seeing what is their real problem, what is their real ambition? Understanding your ideal client, your tribe. These are some of the basic practices, but then at some point you still have to pull the trigger. You still have to start driving. You still have to decide I’m going to create this program or write this book.
You know what? You might be wrong in the short term. That program might turn out to not be the big seller. The annals of time are littered with all the failures, seeming failures, of the authors and the inventors and the innovators and the leaders, but every single one of those was a stepping stone, and I know that’s almost a cliché, but it was a stepping stone to that which created their success. So in a very real way it really wasn’t a failure at all. What could have been a tombstone was a stepping stone, because they learned something. Edison and his thousands of so-called failures of the light bulb taught him the right way to do the light bulb, and also lots of other ideas around conductivity and different metals and different things that went on to inform his other inventions and things. But you must commit. You must take a step.
The way you choose which way to go, and I know this sounds so simple. Most things are, if you’ve done your normal due diligence, and you’ve studied the basic best practices. You just choose. You’ve heard my story probably, if not, there was a point in my life where I had many things I was trying to do, and I was making some progress, but wasn’t getting any real momentum, and I finally realized I had to pick a lane. I just had to pick a lane and commit to it for a sustained period of time, because otherwise what’s going to happen is you’re going to bump into all your thresholds, even if it’s the right things. You’re going to hit thresholds. You’re going to hit the doubt, the fear, all the reasons why you didn’t want to do it, why you don’t think you should do it, why you don’t think you’re good enough. You’re going to bump into all of those no matter what you choose. If you have not committed to it, you’re going to read that sign as I guess that’s the Universe telling me I’m not supposed to. I’m not good enough. I’m too young. I’m too old. I’m too this. I’m too that. It’s too soon. It’s too late. Most of which are often false diagnoses of the problem. They’re just simply telling you you need to grow. You need to learn. You need to dig deeper.
When the resources seem to dry up, you need to become more resourceful, but you won’t get the learnings and the growth of those opportunities if you haven’t committed to that direction. You must choose. When I finally realized this I chose. I chose the Law of Emergence, and I committed for 18 months. I was going to create a program. I was going to flesh it out, create a framework, begin to offer it. No matter what, I was going to stick to it. It was really hard, and all those reasons why I didn’t want to commit in the first place, all the other ideas that I thought were better, suddenly looked really shiny and exciting. I bumped into all of those thresholds, the shiny object syndrome, boredom, fear, doubt, not good enough, the naysayers. Many of the top marketers, who are now a lot of my friends, telling me you can’t make a living doing this particular kind of thing. You’re having to literally create your own niche practically.
I just stuck. I stuck to the path, and I did the work, which I teach. I worked on my values conflicts. I worked on my shadows. I worked on my limited beliefs. I dug deep and anchored myself in truth principle. I built a vibrational frequency that was congruent with my vision, and here’s the other thing. When you commit to a path, and you do the Emergence work of becoming vibrationally congruent, so let’s say you decide you’re going to create this book or this program, and you’re going to launch that business, and you articulate what that vision would look like and feel like, and you begin to do the inner work of congruence to being to feel like that person and show up and be that person, so that vibrationally you are a match for that vision.
Here’s the great news. If by some chance that’s the wrong path, you will ultimately be moved, inextricably or without question, because vibrationally you can never go wrong. If you are vibrationally in a state of power, confidence, joy, peace, love, generosity, service, expansiveness, abundance, but you’re on the wrong path, that frequency will tune you in to the right path. That’s the beauty of the Emergence process is that ultimately it’s really all about you becoming more of the real you, even more than it is what you do. Then that inner GPS, that inner God Positioning System, will redirect you.
Do the best practices. Do your due diligence. Be a good steward, and then choose. Now, one final little thing you can do is you can certainly create a list of the pros and the cons for each choice that you want to make, and then as you read down the list feel into what it feels like as you read each one of those, and feel in your body which one feels more constricted overall or more expanded. That’s another little criteria you can go by, and then finally you can even say let me dream of this color if this is the right one. Let me dream of this color if this is the right now. Maybe you narrow it down to two or three choices, and it’s red, blue, or green, and then wake up and see what color you dreamt of. These sound kind of silly on some level, but they’re actually potentially very powerful, and they do work.
I said this was going to be short form, and it’s already gone longer than I intended, but I think that’s enough for now. How do you choose which way to go? You choose. You dig in. You make a commitment for a period of time, and then everything that that brings up, the fear, the resistance, the doubt, the thresholds, you do the work on those, as I’ve described in other trainings, and as I teach. Then even if it’s the “wrong” goal, you will grow into the right person, and then that will lead you to the right path.
I hope this has served you. This has been another episode of Ask Derek. Until next time, remember to live authentically, love unconditionally, and follow your destiny.