(BONUS EPISODE) Life Doesn’t Care What You Want or Don’t Want (It Cares About This…)
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Life is friendly and all of life is conspiring for your highest good, and here this title says Life doesn’t care what you want or don’t want and then it says, it cares about this . . .
So it’s true. Life doesn’t care what you want or don’t want. Life doesn’t actually know that you want or don’t want. Life is not binary. Life experience is filled with duality – want, don’t want, craving and aversion as Buddha taught.
In fact the whole cornerstone of Buddhist teaching was the dissolving of that pattern of craving and aversion, which is the wanting and the not wanting, the incessant drive to get or get rid of in order to be free, with the understanding that the desire to want or not want actually is, the core source of the false self and all of the resistance and all of the suffering.
And when that mechanism dissolves, when you no longer want or don’t want, what is underneath it is the great ‘isness,’ is life itself, is wholeness itself, harmony itself, freedom itself, fulfillment itself, naturally expressing and naturally occurring.
Listen in now for the full explanation and support your personal development and spiritual growth and start participating in your future good NOW.
And remember, self-help is shelf help – you have everything you need already!
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Transcript
Derek Rydall here, founder of the Law of Emergence and author of the bestselling book Emergence. And it’s just such an honor and a pleasure to be with you again. As we take a deep dive on this path of Emergence, this never ending, ever expanding unfoldment of your infinite potential, and hopefully this title of today’s talk piqued your interest. And that’s why you’re listening because of course I’m always talking about how life is for you, and life is friendly and all of life is conspiring for your highest good, and here this title says Life doesn’t care what you want or don’t want and then it says, it cares about this . . .
So it’s true life doesn’t care what you want or don’t want. Life doesn’t actually know that you want or don’t want. Life is not binary. Life experience is filled with duality, want, don’t want, craving and aversion as Buddha taught. In fact the whole cornerstone of Buddhist teaching was the dissolving of that pattern of craving and aversion, which is the wanting and the not wanting, the incessant drive to get or get rid of in order to be free, with the understanding that the desire to want or not want actually is, the core source of the false self and all of the resistance and all of the suffering. And when that mechanism dissolves, when you no longer want or don’t want ,what is underneath it is the great isness is life itself, is wholeness itself, harmony itself, freedom itself, fulfillment itself, naturally expressing and naturally occurring.
Jesus taught the same thing just use different languages when he said if you try to save your life you’ll lose it but if you lose your life for my sake you’ll have life eternal. Same basic teaching or when he talked about loving your enemy and forgiving them and that the enemy was in your own household. He was also seeking to teach how to dissolve this incessant drive of wanting and not wanting, of trying to get or get rid of. Indeed all the great master teachers were fundamentally teaching that, because the very core of the false self is this pain pleasure mechanism. Are we seeking pleasure and seeking to avoid pain? And so the average human life is a constant circle and cycle of seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, but really getting nowhere in terms of our true awakening and our true evolution. So when you understand this and you understand the real nature of life itself, that it is non-dual, that life is an isness, that love has no opposite.
Fear is not the opposite of love except in the world of duality, there’s love and fear but in Reality, with a capital R, love has no opposite. Chaos is not the opposite of peace or peace is not the opposite of chaos. Peace in reality is non-dual, it has no opposite. All qualities of truth are infinite and omnipotent and omnipresent meaning there’s nothing opposite or other than them. Because all qualities of truth are ultimately synonymous with God or infinite intelligence or life itself whatever concept you want to use. That love, peace, joy, beauty, abundance or supply, freedom, fulfillment all of these are just other ways and names of describing the aspects or describing a facet of this one great jewel of divine reality.
They’re not separate, they’re not opposite, they have no opposite. And so the divine intelligence, the divine impulse of life it doesn’t know anything other than its own wholeness, harmony and perfection. As the bible says God’s eyes are too pure to behold iniquity, or as it says, I believe it’s in the Bhagavad Gita. I might be misquoting the right place, but the basic teaching is that there are seven veils between us and God but no veils between God and us. In other words, we have all these filters and perceptions and sense of duality and separation but from the perspective of divine intelligence it only knows us as its own, as itself, as an emanation of its light.
So this divine life, this divine intelligence which in ultimate truth is the only thing there really is, has no opposite, has no otherness. There’s nothing other than it so when you are wanting or not wanting it doesn’t know that language. It doesn’t hear you. I know that’s hard to understand especially it seem like a contradiction in terms. If God is all there is and God is everywhere how can God not be aware of that. And it’s just that you’re having a perception of the sense of separation. You’re perceiving a sense of a self apart from life, a part from fulfillment and in that dream or really nightmare, you perceive yourself separate from the things you want or you perceive yourself as being or having a condition that you don’t want. And then you go about wanting to get more of something you don’t think you have or get rid of the thing you do have that you don’t want.
All of that is happening within the realm of the dream, within the realm of the hypnotic spell of separation. But only you are experiencing the hypnotic spell not the divine intelligence within you. It only knows you as itself, perfect, whole, complete. So when you are wanting and not wanting it’s not a signal that reaches this divine law within you, this divine life within you. It’s not acting upon the want or the not want. But here is what it does care about; here is what it is acting upon the law itself, the law of mind. It’s acting upon what you’re interested in; it’s acting upon what you are focused on. So this was a long way to get to the point that it doesn’t know or care what you want or don’t want. It cares about what you’re interested in. So if you say I want more abundance or I don’t want death, and if you’re saying that simultaneously you’re actually giving two messages because again all it hears is, it hears first the focus of abundance and then it hears the focus of death. It doesn’t hear that you don’t want death because there’s no duality in it, it is only aware that you’re focused on something.
There’s only a yes in the universe ultimately speaking or in this divine law. So if you’re focusing on I don’t want, I don’t want, I don’t want ,all that it hears is whatever the focus is I don’t want to be sick , I don’t want to be sick, I don’t want to be unhealthy. I don’t want to be fat; I don’t want to be -all that its hearing is sick, unhealthy, fat, sick, unhealthy fat. Okay I guess they want to experience sick unhealthy and fat. And I know it sounds so odd because you’re clearly saying I don’t want that. But the focus of your attention is where the energy goes, the energy flows where your attention goes.
You know just like you’ve heard, you may be use the analogy of the race car driver. They’re learning how to drive and how to pull out of the spins and when the car starts spinning towards the wall, everything in the body does not want to hit the wall, everything in the instincts doesn’t want to hit the wall. And so the tendency is to look at the wall. I don’t want to hit that wall; I don’t want to hit that wall. So I better look at the wall and then what you do you hit the wall. And so even though you don’t want to hit the wall, the only way to pull out of the spin and give you the fighting chance of not hitting the wall, is to actually look away from the thing you don’t want, and look towards the thing you do even while you’re spinning towards the thing you don’t want – the wall. You got to look towards the finish line or towards the next bend or whatever. You got to look back on to the track to where you want to go and then the hands follow the eyes and you course correct. So of course you are not guaranteed in that example to always pull out of spin but you are guaranteed to hit the wall if you focus on the wall. If you focus on what you don’t want you are guaranteed to hit it.
So likewise, in life if your focus is on what you don’t want, if you are going into prayers and affirmations and praying and affirming about what you don’t want, what you’re actually programming into the law of mind and action is the very thing you don’t want. It’s like the story of the guy that was going on a family trip and he spent the first hour of the morning praying and affirming you know, that his family wasn’t in any danger, that they would be safe and that nothing bad would happen and you know he prayed and affirm this for an hour and got on a highway and got into a terrible accident, where they almost all died, they ended up all in the hospital. And afterwards as he reflected on this and got some counsel, he just could not understand it, and when the counselor, the practitioner was listening to them they finally said, well you spent an hour focused on not getting in an accident even though you were saying I want to be safe , we don’t want to be hurt , we want to make sure we’re safe we’re surrounded by the car and the white light, the focus really was I don’t want us to be hurt or get in an accident. So you spent an hour creating a powerful energetic focus on accident.
So we want to be very mindful that in all of our prayer work and our affirmation work, just our thinking and our talking that whatever our dialogue is inside and out, that the focus is on what we do want. This is also why as I talked about in other trainings the questions you ask must contain the actual result you want. If you’re asking why is this happening to me? Why aren’t things working out for me? The focus is on the thing you don’t want and so the answers you’re going to get will only bring you more of what you don’t want. You’ll get a bunch of reasons why it’s not working for you. But that’s not going to necessarily get you any closer to working. Is it going to make you feel bad and worse and worse about yourself and just keep you plugged into the database of human consciousness of lack and limitation? But if you ask how can I become free or what is the divine lesson and opportunity for growth here or what is the larger version and vision of my life trying to emerge by means of this?
Now the focus even if you don’t have the answer, the focus is still basically saying I know there’s an answer here, I know there’s a solution. I know there’s something good here that’s trying to emerge, a lesson, a blessing, an expanded vision and that’s the focus. And so the answer to that question will bring you closer if not right to the doorstep of the thing you want. And so we have to be very mindful that when we frame and fashion our conversation inside and out that we focus on what we want.
Now of course the caveat to all of this is that if you’re focused on wanting just in general, the very concept of wanting connotes that you don’t have. So you want to be aware that whatever you’re wanting is actually an indication of what is trying to emerge. As I teach that desire is not a sign of something out side of you that you need to go get, but a sign of something inside of you trying to get out. So that deep desire, aka wanting is a signal of something, a seed that is hatching within you. You are pregnant and the baby is kicking and so you can still be aware of the want and the desire. You can absolutely make it a conscious awareness, yes I really do want to have more wealth or health or happiness or love. But then from the emergence model you have to begin to reorganize the way you deal with that want, the old model is I want this now let me go make it happen. The new model is I want this which means it’s already in me now let me make it welcome.
So we are no longer focusing on what we don’t want or if we are focusing on what we don’t want we only use it as a very brief moment of guidance because sometimes if you’re not sure what you do want focusing on what you don’t want as a contemplated exercise where you’re not necessarily giving a lot of energy in trying to like fix it you’re using it as a way to go, well I really really don’t want this kind of relationship or this kind of body. So then that gives you an idea then, a direction of what you do want which is some degree of the opposite of that.
I really, really don’t want to have to be in traffic all the time. Okay so well what would be the opposite to that? not being in traffic or maybe you look a little deeper why don’t you want to be in traffic? Because it makes me so angry and frustrated I really, really don’t want to be angry and frustrated for an hour or two or three every day. Okay so what do you want? What is the opposite of that? Being at peace, being happy. So what you want is either not being in traffic which could mean you get up earlier or leave work later, or if you can’t do that because you’ve gone a layer deeper, what you want is to be in a state of peace and joy.
So now you can ask good question how can I be in a state of peace and joy even while I’m in traffic? So you can still get what you really want, which really wasn’t about the traffic but was about the state of being. And you could go a little deeper and go well it’s a waste of time. But what would you rather be doing then? What would be the opposite of wasting the time? What would you do with that time? I would be creating something or learning about something, growing in some way. Great! So now you can fashion your want as I want to use my time in traffic to deepen my sense of peace and joy and to learn and to grow and to create in some way.
Now you’ve got a very real vision and you can actually go about creating that. Make you’re drive a mobile university, have your tape recorder, you know iPhone whatever the recording, dragon dictation or some recording device and you could be creating things while you’re driving. You could be praying and affirming, you could be listening to audios. I’ve gotten easily more than a degree or two worth of knowledge in education by driving in traffic. But notice so that I use the not wanting traffic scratch the surface a little deeper to see what I really do want and then was able to flip that into a vision that could turn my driving into something that was truly nourishing, nurturing, inspiring and expanding. And maybe even if I really am honest it might allow me to grow in ways that I would have done otherwise, if I did not have that situation if I wasn’t a captured audience you know, a captive audience for that hour or two every day.
So focusing on what you don’t want for a moment as an exercise, to see what the opposite of it is, so that you could begin to unpack what you really do want, create a vision out of it and began to move towards that is a valuable exercise. But you don’t want to just unconsciously be a complainer and focus on what you don’t want and then try to change your life from a standpoint of what you don’t want. And then again once you’ve done discern what you do want ,you want to reframe that and in the emergence model which is the understanding that that signal of something that you already have, a seed of potential planted in the soil of your soul that is now budding. And as it cracks open and buds it feels like a wanting or a desire but it’s really an emerging potential.
So you can still go for it but you begin to nurture it and feed it. And like you would a baby, when you’re pregnant with a baby you don’t feel the kick and go, Oh my God I have to get a baby and start to go out and try to find the baby or even try to get pregnant again that would be called crazy. And a lot of people we’ve basically gone insane because we’ve got this desire which is a sign that we’re pregnant with something and then we go out and try to get it. And so you still can do a lot of things to nurture it you know the different lift, practice, work of living in the feel and telling the vibration of it already being done, praying, affirming, visualizing , radiating, taking wonderful appropriate actions steps.
It’s all coming from the standpoint of I’m giving birth to something, and now I’m going to be and to do and to feel and show up as if this thing is emerging in my life, very different energy and much more congruent, much less resistance and ultimately a much greater chance that you’ll actually give birth to that next stage of your unfoldment. So don’t focus on what you don’t want, but you can use it to determine what you really do want and then reframe what you do want from the understanding that it means you’ve already got it, and now you just need to bring your inner and outer life into harmony with it, into integrity with it, so that you don’t make it happen but you make it welcome.
You midwife the birth of the next stage of your own growth and unfoldment. This is what life really cares about. It doesn’t care about what you want and don’t want. It just cares about what you’re focused on. So make sure you’re focused on what’s truly trying to emerge. I hope this has served you for a deeper dive. Make sure you go to derekrydall.com; make sure you sign up for the podcast so that you can continue to get more and more of these emerging training and activations all that good stuff. If you go to derekrydall.com you can get other free downloadable content trainings etc., to really support you on this journey of emergence. If you like this please leave a review and five stars, go to my Facebook page post a review or insights and get engaged, get involved and stay inspired. Until next time remember to live authentically, love unconditionally and follow your destiny.
