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What Should I Do?
This is such an important topic because this question is so often asked.
Sometimes the question is being asked unconsciously – you are doing so much, and feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, drained, or lacking inspiration and passion, and the unconscious questions trying to be asked is, “What should I do… What should I be focused on… What really matters?
The reason so many people can relate to this is because we get so used to being busy that we don’t take care of the real business in our lives and don’t create real productivity. We are so used to reacting, putting out fires and meeting everybody else’s needs and agendas, instead of getting really clear about what our own agenda is. You hear people constantly ask, “How’s it going?” And your reply is “I’m so busy.”
There is something you are designed to be, to do, to create, to contribute. There’s a way you’re designed to show up in the world that is uniquely your design, and it comes with unique goals, projects, relationships, tasks, ways to show up, ways to serve, etc. It’s all part of the design package. Just like nature, the apple tree is designed to produce the fruit of apples, not to be a pine tree, an oak tree and a rose bush. If the ecosystem started to act like that, the entire ecosystem would collapse.
We have to start unraveling what our own vision and mission is – get back to our core, back to our real yes, back to what we really want to do, and even look at the things that other family, friends, and co-workers are excited about, but may not be the thing for us.
Sometimes there’s things that appear to be working in our lives, things that seem to be kind of going good. You’ve heard the saying, you got a good thing going here, kid; don’t mess with it. Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke. Well, that’s not entirely accurate. I put it another way, what’s working that’s in the way?
Just because something isn’t broken doesn’t mean that it’s not meant to evolve. I use the example often of the Rubik’s cube, that little square puzzle, and it’s all messed up, all different colors on each side, and the point of the puzzle is you have to keep turning and twisting until you get every side a solid color. You start to do it, and at some point you get one of the sides solid. You get a solid white, and that’s a success. It’s working. However, what do you have to do to get the next side working? You have to mess up what you just got working. You could say, it’s not broken; it’s working. Why would I want to mess that side up? You have to mess it up, if you’re going to get the next side working. Then you get two sides working. Victory! But now what do you have to do to keep getting the next side, the next side? You’ve got to keep messing up what’s working. You have to keep messing up the level of success you’ve just achieved. You have to be more focused on the grander vision than on necessarily short term payoffs.
It doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate them and celebrate them. “I got another side!” You’ve got to keep letting it go and moving and evolving. A lot of times in our life there are certain things that are working at a certain level. Maybe your marriage is not broken, but is it really thriving? Maybe you’ve got to kind of break things, or at least shake things up. As I like to say, sometimes my work is not just to comfort the afflicted, but to afflict the comfortable.
Maybe you’ve got a job that’s not broken, it’s kind of working. It’s paying the bills. They’re not necessarily mistreating you, maybe they even appreciate you. You’ve got a good thing going, but you’re not truly on fire. You’re not fully alive and passionate, and there’s something more that’s trying to emerge. You might have to mess it up a little bit at first in order to say yes to your bigger yes.
This is challenging, because we’re always seeking another level of status quo, equilibrium, balance, and once we find that balance we don’t want to lose it. How do you walk? If you never ever wanted to lose your balance, you couldn’t walk, because every time you walk what you’re really doing is falling forward. You’re going off balance, catching yourself. Off balance, catching yourself. Off balance, catching yourself, but at a new level each time, in a new space, a more progressive space. So you’re off balance, catch yourself, rebalance. Off balance, catch yourself, rebalance… Before you learn to do that, you fell. As a child you got up, you fell, you got up, you fell. You just kept falling forward, and eventually you were walking. Because of this mechanism that’s always trying to bring us to a state of equilibrium and balance, we are more inclined or have more commitment to staying the same, rather than changing and continuing to grow. So that’s one of the big things we have to begin to move out of.
One way to begin to do this process of determining what’s important to you now is to make a list of everything you do and everything on your list that you think you have to do. Perhaps it’s the next months’ worth of things, and some of them are things you do all the time, and some of them are things you’re adding to your list over the next month. Look at that list, and start to identify, “If I was guaranteed success, what are the few things that would be a hell yes?”
You can also break the list down into structures, which might be a little easier. You have several life structures: health, wealth, work, relationships, spiritual growth, personal development, and service. You can break down all the tasks into these categories. What are all the things you’re doing in the category of health? What are all the things you’re doing in the category of wealth, work, relationships, spiritual growth, personal development?
Then within those categories, identify the two or three most important things that would really take your life to the next level, or that area to the next level, that are passionate, that are a yes, that are a must. It doesn’t mean they’re not all important, but there’s always one or two or three that are really calling out to be developed. Rarely are all of them urgently needing to be developed, and what happens is that when you focus on the one or two or three that really matter, that are hell yeses, the ramifications, because it’s really holistic, it’s really one, it impacts the others. For example, some of them have higher leverage. If you work on your health and get into great physical shape, the energy you have, the blood circulation, it improves your thinking. You end up having more energy to do more work. You end up having a better emotional state, and it improves your relationships. You end up having more clarity, and you’re able to be more creative and in your personal develop area. That’s a very high leverage category that almost always should be one of your main categories.
As you break down this list, you want to just go through the list as an exercise, and discover what are your reasons for doing everything you do. Start to notice there are certain patterns that keep recurring: “I’m doing this so I don’t look bad… I’m doing this so I don’t feel guilty… I’m doing this so I don’t feel shame… I’m doing this so I don’t lose the job or lose the opportunity… I’m doing this so that that person doesn’t think I’m selfish or a bad mom or a bad parent…”
Then notice also, what is it you really want to do? This can even be another list of the things you really want to do, but you’re not doing. You can start to really see what are some of the core patterns driving you. The more you see it, an expanded awareness gives you actual real choice and begins the process of real change.
Now, begin the process of organizing out of your plan all of these other commitments, all of these other things, to the extent that you can. The ones you can’t, immediately begin the journey or the process of renegotiating those commitments, so that you can begin to get them off your list and off your plan. Ultimately, you want a plan that progressively reflects who you are at the deepest core, your deepest yes, your deepest passion, your hell yes, your musts, the great, not just the good, and it feels more and more authentic and congruent.
Now you’ve got a plan, a real plan that if you don’t already know what your bigger vision is, it’s going to start to tune your more into it.
To support you in mastering this, listen to the in-depth podcast on the subject, where we break it down and put it into real-life practice TODAY. This will be a real game-changer.
To Your Emergence!
Stay inspired!
Derek
[The following is the full transcript of this episode of the Emergence, A Revolutionary Path for Radical Life Change, with Derek Rydall Podcast]
Welcome, Derek Rydall here, founder of the Law of Emergence and author of the bestselling book Emergence. It’s just such an honor and a pleasure to be here with you on this journey of Emergence, as we continue this deep dive into understanding and mastering the principles of real productivity, power, and purpose, so that we can live our true purpose and make a mighty impact in this world. We’re talking today about the topic What Should I Do, and this is such a powerful topic. It’s such an oft asked question. I have so many things that I’m doing, what should I pick? What should I choose? Out of all the options, what should I do? Sometimes the question is being asked unconsciously, we are doing so much, and we’re feeling burnt out or overwhelmed and drained and lacking inspiration and passion, and the unconscious question trying to be asked is, what should I do? What should I be focused on? What really matters? What’s really going to move the needle?
We get so used to being busy that we don’t take care of the real business, that we don’t create real productivity. We are so used to reacting and putting out fires and meeting everybody else’s needs and agendas, your inbox is a nice organizing place for everybody else’s agenda, and we just get so used to that and in such a momentum of that, and even sometimes you feel like you matter, you feel like you exist. It’s the great Descartes, I think, therefore I am. Today it would be, I’m busy, therefore I am. So we have a sense of self, a sense of we exist, we have solidity, and we matter, when we’re busy. You hear people constantly, How’s it going?I’m so busy.It’s like a badge of honor, even though on one level we don’t feel great about it, but we feel kind of good about it. It’s this interesting dichotomy, right?
Ultimately, if we really want to live a powerful, thriving, healthy, truly successful life, and by success I mean doing the thing you’re truly designed to do and be, making the contribution and giving the gifts you’re truly designed to give. The apple tree is designed to produce the fruit of apples. If the apple tree was busy trying to be a pine tree and an oak tree and a rosebush, and it was getting all in the other trees and branches and trying to create all these things in its life, even if it managed to eke out a little rose, of course it would be impossible. Nature can’t actually contradict its own nature, but we can fool ourselves. If the ecosystem started to act like that, the entire ecosystem would collapse. There is something you are designed to be, to do, to create, to contribute. There’s a way you’re designed to show up in the world that is uniquely your design, and it comes with unique goals, projects, relationships, tasks, ways to show up, ways to serve, etc. It’s all part of the design package.
Again, mostly our schedules and lives get filled with reactions, with coping mechanisms, with trying to not get hurt or not lose something, or make sure we have enough to survive, or doing all these things for other people, because we have a shadow, and we don’t want to be looked at as being mean or selfish or a bad boy and girl, and we’re afraid we’ll get rejected and be unlovable and be all alone and homeless, broke and die. So like literally that’s the unconscious motivation. We have to begin to identify that compulsive drive, because it’s not healthy. It’s not helping. It’s actually enabling others in our lives to also not be in their power, and it’s completely draining us and burning us out and sapping all of the energy we need to be who we really are, to create the life we’re really meant to live, and to give the gifts and make the difference we’re really designed to do.
So we come back to, what should I do? What should I do with my life? What should I do with my day, my time, my year, my body, my abilities, my energy? What’s the very best use of it? Now, it’s beyond the scope of this particular podcast to get into the idea of vision. Ultimately you have to start there. There’s other podcasts where I talk about how to tap into that, but there is a great vision, a seed of potential planted in the soil of your soul, that you want to begin to really cultivate and uncover and discover, and really ask, what is the great vision of my life? What is the bigger purpose for which I’m here? That’s the 30,000 foot level. Down more at the 1,000 foot level, or the 100 foot level, or the ground level, our life is filled with so many things. For many of us we’ve kind of got to start there and sort of get some breathing room again.
You’ve maybe heard this saying, that the good is the enemy of the great. What that means, for example, is maybe you get invited to go out with some friends, and it seems like a good idea. It might be fun, and you find yourself at the bar or the club or wherever, and you’re sitting there, and people are having fun. It’s not a bad thing to be doing. It’s fun. It’s enjoyable for a lot of people, but you kind of find yourself wondering, what am I doing here? I’m telling myself I don’t have time to exercise, my body’s feeling broken down and tired. I’m not making time for that, but here I am appeasing a friend, or distracting myself by going out. I’ve been saying I want to have more time with this other friend, or I want to be writing my book or building my business, but here I am doing this thing. I don’t really belong here.
Again, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe it’s like a charitable event, like a fundraiser for the school or something. It’s not a bad thing. In fact, for some people that is their great thing. That is the thing they’re really truly passionate and meant to be doing. So there’s no judgment, but it’s not your thing. You can’t do everything, even every good thing. There is supposedly a passage in the Bible where Jesus is being asked to stay in this one area, and he’s like, No. I have to go to some other town. I have to keep spreading the good news. They’re like, Stay.He’s like, No. I have more work to do. I have to keep moving. There’s lots of things you could be doing. There’s lots of people that could use your help, your service, your support, including your children 24/7, your partner, your spouse, your clients, your friends, your family. There’s lot of things you could be doing to help them all, but that doesn’t mean you should be doing it.
Because of guilt and shame and our core shadows, we have a life not so much by intention or design, but by default. We’re so busy doing all these good things, and sometimes not even good things, because we’re doing so many things that aren’t the great things, the right things, we are, like I said, tired, overwhelmed, feeling more disconnected, unfulfilled, and then we have to turn to things to quell the pain of feeling so unfulfilled, of feeling so tired. So we drink more caffeinated beverages, or worse. We drink more alcohol. We drink stuff to put us up, and we drink stuff to bring us down, or eat stuff to ground us or to comfort us, or watch reality TV or binge watch entire shows on a night or a weekend that, again, in and of itself might be a great thing to do in its right place, and for the right person at the right time, but when it’s coming from that compulsive need, or that feeling of pain and unfulfillment, a lot of times it’s another distraction.
Because we’re not honoring the great within us, the truth within us, the real yes within us, we get burned out. We get tired. We get disconnected. We become unfulfilled, even depressed, and then because we don’t understand what that’s all about, or even aren’t willing to feel it, we create another layer of coping and defense mechanisms, and that turns into addictions and other compulsive behaviors to not feel what we’re feeling, that we’re feeling tired, burnt out, depressed, and unfulfilled. So we have to start unraveling that and get back to our core, back to our real yes, back to what we really want to do, what we were really designed to do, and even looking at the good things that other family, friends, and stuff are excited about, but isn’t our great thing. It might be their great thing, but it’s not ours.
I put it another way, what’s working that’s in the way? Sometimes there’s things that appear to be working in our lives, things that seem to be kind of going good. You’ve heard the saying, you got a good thing going here, kid; don’t mess with it. Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke. Well, that’s not entirely accurate. Just because something isn’t broken doesn’t mean that it’s not meant to evolve. Right? I use the example often of the Rubik’s cube, that little square puzzle, and it’s all messed up, all different colors on each side, and the point of the puzzle is you have to keep turning and twisting until you get every side a solid color. You start to do it, and at some point you get one of the sides solid. You get a solid white, and that’s a success. It’s working. However, what do you have to do to get the next side working? You have to mess up what you just got working. You could say, it’s not broken; it’s working. Why would I want to mess that side up? You have to mess it up, if you’re going to get the next side working. Then you get two sides working. Victory! But now what do you have to do to keep getting the next side, the next side? You’ve got to keep messing up what’s working. You have to keep messing up the level of success you’ve just achieved. You have to be more focused on the grander vision than on necessarily short term payoffs.
Again, it doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate them and celebrate them. Got another side! I got another side! You’ve got to keep letting it go and moving and evolving. A lot of times in our life there are certain things that are working at a certain level. Maybe your marriage is not broken, but is it really thriving? Maybe you’ve got to kind of break things, or at least shake things up. As I like to say, sometimes my work is not just to comfort the afflicted, but to afflict the comfortable. Maybe you’ve got a job that’s not broken, it’s kind of working. It’s paying the bills. They’re not necessarily mistreating you, maybe they even appreciate you. You’ve got a good thing, kid. You’ve got a good thing going, but you’re not truly on fire. You’re not truly alive, fully alive and passionate, and there’s something more that’s trying to emerge. You might have to mess it up a little bit at first in order to say yes to your bigger yes. There might be a lot of good things you’re doing in that job, or good things about that marriage, and maybe you’re doing a lot of good things, but they’re not the great things. Maybe you watch TV together at night, and it’s kind of good. Maybe you have a meal at night, and it’s kind of good. Maybe you spend some time on the weekends, and it’s kind of good, but it’s not the great. It’s not what you really desire. What you desire is a relationship that’s on fire with passion, with romance, with adventure, with creativity, yet to move toward that you would have to start saying no to some of the good things. You would have to start messing up what’s working, and open up to the great, open up to the bigger yes, to the greater vision.
This is challenging, because we’re always seeking another level of status quo, of equilibrium, of balance, and once we find that balance we don’t want to lose it. How do you walk? If you never ever wanted to lose your balance, you couldn’t walk, because every time you walk what you’re really doing is falling forward. You’re going off balance, catching yourself. Off balance, catching yourself. Off balance, catching yourself, but at a new level each time, in a new space, a more progressive space. So you’re off balance, catch yourself, rebalance. Off balance, catch yourself, rebalance. Before you learn to do that, you fell. As a child you got up, you fell, you got up, you fell. You just kept falling forward, and eventually you were walking. Because of this mechanism that’s always trying to bring us to a state of equilibrium, of balance, we are more inclined or have more commitment to staying the same, rather than changing and continuing to grow. So that’s one of the big things we have to begin to move out of.
The other issue is, again, as I said in the beginning here, because to really go for the great in our life we would have to say no to a lot of the good, including a lot of good people. Including a lot of sincere requests that are good requests that deserve to be answered. It’s just not our job to answer them all.
There is no way you can do it. You cannot give to every charity. You cannot support every need in the world. You can’t help every hungry child or every scared animal or lost animal. You can’t help every person that asks for it. You just can’t. Not even Jesus could. Not even Mother Teresa could. Not even Martin Luther King could. Not even Gandhi could. There is a portion that is saved out for you. There is the ones, the people, the situations, the projects that you are uniquely designed to serve and to help and to bring your greatness to, and that’s what you have to begin to discover.
This puts you on a journey of real growth, real strength, real mastery, because, again, it puts up right up against our core shadows, our core wounds, our core fears of being seen in a negative way, being rejected, becoming unlovable, losing something, and ultimately dying. It’s really the deep fear. The truth is that less really is more. Doing a few things that are yours to do, that are the right things to do, doing a few things that are a must is much more productive, effective, than doing a bunch of things that are a maybe. As I’ve heard it put before, if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no. Now, a caveat to that is sometimes even our hell yes is covered up by fear, fear of failure, fear of loss, etc. So it doesn’t feel like a hell yes. There is a yes there, but it’s a got a yes, but. So sometimes we have to clear away some of the debris and ask empowering questions, like if I was guaranteed to succeed, what’s my hell yes in my life? So we have to kind of clear away the dust and grit of the journey. Ultimately you’re looking for those hell yeses, or at least just a yes! The thing that you deeply resonate with the most, the thing you feel will most move the needle, and that doesn’t mean it’s going to always move the needle immediately. It means that overall it’s the most important high leverage thing you can be putting your time into.
In truth, most of the most important things are not urgent. As Stephen Covey talks about in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, there is the things that are not urgent, but important. That’s the most important category. That’s like dealing with your health, your spirituality, your personal growth, your relationships, before they become urgent. If you don’t deal with the important but not urgent, it becomes urgent and important. That’s the next category. Now you’re kind of always in this state of urgency, but it is important, and we do need to address that, because we have a lot of urgent and important things in our life, because we haven’t spent enough time in the important but not urgent category.
Then, because we get so stressed out or burned out, and it’s so much stuff, there is the next category we tend to slip into, which is the urgent but not important. So that’s everybody else’s agenda that isn’t really ours. Again, it might be important to them, so we’re not judging anybody. It’s just not ours to handle, and yet it has a sense of urgency, because they’re urgent. It’s all those emails. It’s those phone calls. It’s the child pulling on you while you’re on the phone and saying, Mommy, Mommy, I need this. Give me this. I need this.It’s urgent to the child, but it’s not urgent for you.
Then there’s the final category, if you get caught into that third category too much, now you’re really burnt out, and you just need to distract yourself and numb yourself, and so you move into not urgent, not important. You just check out. You just disconnect. You just pop a beer or two or six, and just flop on the couch and watch six hours of Ice Road Truckers, or whatever. Nothing wrong with that show. I’ve never actually watched it. Looks kind of funny. Whatever. Honey Boo Boo, whatever the case may be. The Kardashians. You just check out. It’s not important. It’s not urgent. You’re just so overwhelmed or burnt out you’ve got to check out.
That’s what happens along the spectrum when we haven’t taken the time to discover what is truly the thing or things we’re meant to do, the great, not just the good. The hell yes, the thing I must, not just the thing that’s a maybe. We have to be compassionate. We have to be patient, because there’s some unraveling that has to happen as we kind of work our way back to focusing most of our time and attention on the important but not urgent. There will still be urgent and important for a while, and maybe to a little extent forever, but it will become increasingly less. Then the other categories, urgent and not important, and not urgent, not important, they just become ultimately delegated, automated, or eliminated out of our life. So that we are only in the important but not urgent, and occasionally the urgent and important. We’re mostly on the hell yes, with a little bit of the urgently, oh my God, I have to. We want to be mostly on the I get to, but sometimes we have to focus on I have to.
Now, one way to begin to do this process is to actually make a list of everything you do and everything on your list that you think you have to do. Perhaps it’s the next months’ worth of things, and some of them are things you do all the time, and some of them are things you’re adding to your list over the next month. Look at that list, and start to identify, if I was guaranteed success, what are the few things that would be a hell yes? You can also do this, break it down, in terms of structures, which might be a little easier. You have several life structures, health, wealth, work, relationships, spiritual growth, personal development, service, and you can break down all these tasks into these categories. What are all the things you’re doing in the category of health? What are all the things you’re doing in the category of wealth, work, relationships, spiritual growth, personal development?
Now, personal development means things where you’re developing your personal skills and capacities like, learning to ride a bike, learning to play the guitar, learning to write a book, learning to become a coach, learning to grow a business. That’s personal development. It also is connected to work, but it’s not the actual work. It’s the development of that aspect of your persona. Okay? Then there’s service, and that is the area where you are giving of yourself philanthropically, or of service to the world. Sometimes these things connect. Your work ultimately can also be your service. You can be developing your personal development, being of service, and accomplishing your work all together, and that produces your wealth, etc. You see what I mean? Breaking them up into categories, and then putting all those to-dos, projects, tasks, within the right category gives you a cleaner snapshot of what you’re doing or not doing in those very critical categories.
Then, look at the categories, and of those categories, what are the two categories, I would say maximum three for now, to start. It doesn’t mean they’re not all important, but there’s always one or two or three that are really calling out to be developed. Rarely are all of them urgently needing to be developed, and what happens is that when you focus on the one or two or three that really matter, that are hell yeses, the ramifications, because it’s really holistic, it’s really one, it impacts the others. For example, some of them have higher leverage. If you work on your health and get into great physical shape, the energy you have, the blood circulation, it improves your thinking. You end up having more energy to do more work. You end up having better emotional state, and it improves your relationships. You end up having more clarity, and you’re able to be more creative and in your personal develop area. That’s a very high leverage category that if you don’t have a handle on it it almost always should be one of your main categories.
The second main category tends to be spiritual development, whatever that means to you, because when you don’t have a deep connection with who you really are, and why you’re alive, and your heart, and your spirit, everything else suffers. It’s like a branch trying to survive without being connected to the tree. It withers and dies. Developing a deep connection to your heart, to your spirit, to who you really are, what’s above the Oracle of Delphi, know thyself. Knowing yourself, getting in the best shape you Transcriptioncan, these are like almost always, if they’re not already on good momentum, should be two of the categories you’re focused on.
Then I would say the next most important one is relationships. You know the saying, community breeds immunity. We are relationship driven machines, relationship driven beings. The connection to yourself is first. The connection to your body is second, and then extending that connection to others is third. This is the path of health, of wholeness. When you’re disconnected from others, they’ve shown that many of the suicides, the depression, etc. are directly linked to people who had connections with family, community, or like in the army or whatever, and suddenly lose that bond, lose that connection and fall into depression and ultimately addiction, drugs, and even suicide. Also they’ve shown that when you have community you tend to heal faster and not get sick as often. Real authentic relationships is, again, super high leverage. When you’re in love, you can conquer the world.
So when you are feeling great about yourself, feeling great about your body, and feeling loved and loving, you’re a superstar. You’re able to rock the world. That’s why those are the three probably most important categories. As I said, they’re all critical, because each one is necessary to a whole person, but each one that extends, so from there the next level is work, your right work in the world. If you’ve got all these things, but you’re not producing the fruit of your kind, you will stagnate, and then it will back up and start to suffer all the other branches of your life. So you have to then move to the next level, work, and on and on this goes. So you can look at this, and you can actually decide for yourself what are the areas that are most critical? What are the areas that would move the needle most?
Then within those one or two or three, let’s say two or three areas, you look at the two or three activities. Maybe it’s a project or some tasks that you then identify as your hell yes, as the must, not the maybe, as the great, not just the good. For example, in the area of health, maybe you’re taking yoga, you’re working out at the gym, you are running. Maybe you’re doing a bunch of things, and you’re spending two hours a day on your health, and it’s not necessary. Maybe if you just spent a full hour in one area that would actually give you the greatest leverage. You might discover you’re not spending much time at all there, and meanwhile you’re spending all this time at work, or all this time trying to make money, or all this time trying to put out fires in relationships, and that area is sacrificed, is suffering. You want to find, what’s the one thing I could do that is really a must, that’s really a hell yes, that would really give me a lot of leverage, the great, not just the good? So you identify that.
You might notice that there’s some things you can let go of within that category that is not necessary, and then the area, again, of relationships, maybe you’re trying to keep up 10 different friendships and 10 different colleagueships, and you’re networking, and always thinking you got to keep the network going. All this energy, and meanwhile your relationship with your wife is suffering, or your relationship with your children is not as joyful and thriving, and when you look at all these things, you realize it’s a good idea to keep up my network. It’s a good idea to keep being a good friend to all my friends, but what’s the great? What’s the must? If I could have really awesome relationship with my children, or with my best friend, or with this one best friend, or with my partner, maybe it’s my child, my partner, and my best friend. Let me, instead of trying to keep relationships going with 20 people, let me really focus on making great relationships with these three people. That doesn’t mean you just completely cut yourself off from all these people, however it might in some cases, if you really look at it.
You might realize you’re operating from a place of fear, a fear of missing out, a fear of feeling bad, of being guilty, of creating conflict, of getting kicked out of that club, or not being able to get another client because of it. So you want to notice when you’re being moved by fear, by a shadow, a compulsive behavior, versus being pulled by passion and vision and inspiration. If it’s being moved by fear, you want to look and see what is the reason why? If it’s not something that really adds true value to your life, that there’s something else that’s much more valuable. It’s not just, well the mother’s will think I’m a bad mother if I don’t go to every PTA meeting, or if I don’t go to the student car washes every time, or bake the pies or whatever. You’re like, I’m only doing this because I don’t want to look bad. I’m only doing this because I don’t want them to not like me, but I don’t really want to do it. It’s not really the thing I bring the most value to or the thing I can bring the greatest level of joy and love and passion and capacity for my children. So what would be that thing? You see?
As you break down this list, you want to just go through the list as an exercise, and discover what are your reasons for doing everything you do? Start to notice there are certain patterns that keep recurring. I’m doing this so I don’t look bad. I’m doing this so I don’t feel guilty. I’m doing this so I don’t feel shame. I’m doing this so I don’t lose the job or lose the opportunity. I’m doing this so that that person doesn’t think I’m selfish or a bad mom or a bad parent. I’m doing this because I don’t want to lose. I’m doing this because I’m afraid. Then notice also, what do I really want to do? This can even be another list of the things you really want to do, but you’re not doing. Then you can make a list, I’m not doing this because I’m afraid. You can start to really see what are some of the core patterns driving you. The more you see it, an expanded awareness gives you actual real choice and begins the process of real change.
Make the list. Break it down into these categories: health, wealth, work, relationship, spirituality, personal growth or personal development, and service. Identify within that list what are all the reasons why you’re doing it, so you can understand your patterns, and then what are the two or three categories that are a must, not a maybe, that are a hell yes, not just a maybe. Then within those categories, identify the two or three most important things that would really take your life to the next level, or that area to the next level, that are passionate, that are a yes, that are a must. Now organize that into your plan. Begin the process of organizing out of your plan all of these other commitments, all of these other things, to the extent that you can, and the ones you can’t, immediately begin the journey or the process of renegotiating those commitments, so that you can begin to get them off your list and off your plan. So that your plan progressively reflects who you are in the deepest core, your deepest yes, your deepest passion, your hell yes, your musts, the great, not just the good, and it feels more and more authentic and congruent. Now you’ve got a plan, a real plan that if you don’t already know what your bigger vision is, it’s going to start to tune your more into it.
That’s why really doing the work on vision is so important, because if you don’t know where you’re going, every road will take you there, which means you could go down every road, and you’re just going to be lost. Knowing really where you want to go, like where do you really want to go with your family, with your relationships, with your body, with your wealth, with your life and your commitment and your contribution? Where do you really want to go at the end of the year? Where do you really want to go at the end of five years? Where do you really want to be at the end of a life? Then reverse engineer that back as a template, as a North Star, as a compass. If that’s where I really want to go, am I heading in that direction? If the things I’m doing and that are on my to-do list and my plan are not, guess where they have to go? Somewhere else.
Now you identify, and you start to organize this plan, and then, and don’t freak out, you have to put it on your schedule. Some of you have full schedules, and that’s not a problem. Your problem is just the things on your schedule are keeping you busy, but they’re not necessarily making you productive. For those others of you, heart-centered, creatively-minded people, you don’t tend to have a real schedule or real plan. You just kind of go with the flow, but, as I often say, if you just go with the flow, you’re going to probably end up going over a waterfall and crashing into the rocks below, or getting stuck in some branches or brambles or crashing into a rock. Going with the flow isn’t a good idea, because you don’t know what flow you’re going with, until you do know. It’s go with the flow, but don’t forget to row. Row, row, flow, flow, row, row, flow, flow. For you people that love to flow, don’t forget to row.
How do you know where to row? You’ve got to know where you’re going. Got to know where to go before you know where to row. I feel like I’m going to start breaking into a rap here. You’ve got to have a plan. You’ve got to have a vision. Then you’ve got to put it on your schedule. Then you do it. That’s a whole other topic. There’s other podcasts that talk about why we don’t do what we’ve committed to, the value of commitment. It’s beyond the scope of this. This is more than enough to play with, and it’s so important, because this is one of the biggest questions. What should I do? Out of all the choices and options, what should I do? What’s the right thing, the right direction, the best thing, the thing that will really move my life, move the needle, take things to the next level?
Listen to this again. Take notes, and follow the recipe. Again, if you want to go deeper into vision, into understanding commitment and planning, go through the archives of the podcast and check those out as well. While we’re talking about that, if you haven’t already signed up for the podcast, sign up. It’s free. You get access to about a hundred free trainings. I’m adding new ones every week, and it’s an invaluable resource. You can download all of them right away so they’re in your library, and that way as we archive them, which we are doing on an ongoing basis, I think every week, as a matter of fact, at least one or two of them gets archived, and we’re eventually going to archive a whole bunch of them. So register, download all of them. Now you own them. Listen, and apply. Choose at least one thing you’ll do about this today. Action has power.
I hope this has served you in getting clearer on what you should do. If you want to have even more support, you can go to DerekRydall.com. You can also check out my Facebook page. You can go to LawofEmergence.com and download a free mini ecourse on the Law of Emergence. If you want to grab my book Emergence, the bestseller, you can also go to MyEmergenceBook, click on the Amazon or Barnes and Noble button, buy it through there, and then leave your information, and we’re going to give you a bunch of bonuses to help you really apply it and get real world results. Again, I truly love and appreciate you for showing up, not just showing up for me, but showing up for you, because as you show up for you, you come alive, and what the world is looking for is people who have come alive. Until next time, remember to live authentically, to love unconditionally, and to follow your destiny. Take care, everyone.
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The Only Argument You EVER Have to Win
Can you imagine if there was only one argument that you had to win? If you could become a master at winning that one argument, everything in your life would work. You would be a winner everywhere in your life. Would that be something worth mastering?
Well, there’s only one problem in all of human existence, and that is our belief and perception of separation from Source.
There is a something, an isness that is whole, complete and perfect, that is perfection itself, life itself. It never is born. It can never die. It has no beginning or end. It can’t be improved upon and it can’t be diminished.
It is the very source and substance, cause and effect, power and presence, principle and reality of all existence. It’s nature is good. It’s nature (not a good that’s opposite of a bad, but in all good) is an infinite, omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent good that has nothing outside of it and nothing else within it except its own goodness.
Now, if you could just get what I just said, I don’t mean just intellectually but have a realization of it, you will have won the argument because that’s the truth principle – oneness, wholeness, perfection, god only, only god, love only, only love.
However, that’s not our experience. Our life experience is the relative perception and projection of this infinite perfection. So, we don’t experience the one real life directly. We experience through our perception, through the filters of our mind and awareness which become beliefs and habits, which create circumstances and conditions. That is what we call life experience.
Life experience can be all over the place. It literally can be anything depending on what dimension you’re in and how much you’re willing to believe in something. You can pretty much experience anything. That doesn’t necessarily tell you what is reality, just as your beliefs don’t tell you what reality is. They tell you your best guess at it and your emotions don’t tell you reality. They tell you what you believe. The reason for this is because life is infinite.
There’s one mind, one consciousness, the mind of God, the intelligence of the universe, the all-knowing, all-containing, all-possessing, perfect mind. You’re a center in it, and it’s unfolding. So, you have the capacity to tap into it but it’s all within this consciousness that is within you. This is why Jesus said, “Take no thought for your life, for the clothes you’ll put on and the food, wherewithal you shall be clothed… but seek first the kingdom of heaven.” Then, he said, “And then all those things you’ve been striving after, those will be added unto you.” Buddha also taught us to go within. Lao Tzu, Guanyin, Shankara and the greatest masters and teachers all said that ultimately the solution and the answer to everything outside of you is inside of you – either go within or you’ll go without.
Ultimately, the greater the realization of your true self, your true nature, the realm of truth, and your connection, communion, and identification with that, the more everything resolves itself and your life reveals more and more bounty, abundance, and goodness.
That’s why it also says in the Bible, “If you dwell in the secret place of the Most High, under the shadow of the Almighty, no hurt, no harm can come down in your dwelling place.” I’m talking about this dimension with you – consciousness.
Now, what does that have to do with the only argument you ever have to win?
Well, in the most basic sense, as I mentioned above, the only lie is that you’re separate from this ultimate reality or ultimate good. That’s the one and only problem, this sense of separation from it. So, the only solution is the realization of your oneness within.
To support you in mastering this, listen to the in-depth podcast on the subject, where we break it down and put it into real-life practice TODAY. This will be a real game-changer.
To Your Emergence!
Stay inspired!
Derek
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Hey, Derek Rydall here, founder of the Law of Emergence and author of the best-selling book, Emergence. It’s just so great to be with you again. I just have to say that every time I get a chance to share and connect with this amazing community and join you on this journey of Emergence, of unlocking and unleashing your full potential and true purpose so that you can bring your gifts to the world, and together we can create a world that works for the highest good of all. Every time I get a chance to play with you in that and on that path, no matter where I’m at, no matter what’s going on in my day or my life, I just feel better. I think that’s a sign that I’m on my path. Do you know what I mean? I think it’s a sign that I’m doing what I’m supposed to do. I think when the apple tree apples, it’s in bliss. There can be a storm, there can be a drought, there can be scorching sun but when it’s expressing its unique fruit, it’s happy. That’s really the same for us. We’re designed to be in bliss. We’re designed to be free. We’re designed to be fulfilled. We’re designed to live a great and a bountiful life.
What I want to talk about today is the only argument you ever have to win. By the way, if you haven’t already had a chance to register for Emergence in iTunes and make sure you never miss a training, a talk and any of the special opportunities and gifts and things that I give away, the quantum prayers, et cetera, please take a moment and register for it. It’s free. You can get access to about a hundred trainings. We’re also constantly archiving them, so to make sure you never miss one or lose out on the dozens that are already there, just take a moment. It only takes literally half a minute to register for your free emergence podcast and then download of them. Get them all on your computer or phone and then now you own that library, and you’ll never lose them even when we archived them. I’ll be sending you new ones every week.
So, we’re talking about the only argument you ever have to win. That’s a pretty bold statement and a pretty big promise. Can you imagine if there was only one argument that you had to win? If you could become a master at winning that one argument, everything in your life would work. You would be a winner everywhere in your life. Would that be something worth mastering? Would that be something worth investing some time and energy to master the ability to win this argument? Well, there’s only one problem in all of human existence, and that is our sins of separation from source. Whatever name you call it – God, the Christ, the Buddha mind, the quantum field, the truth within, the higher power, the real self, ultimate reality – whatever name you call it, there is this something that really cannot be called anything. As it says in the Tao, the Tao that can be named is not the real Tao. There is a something, an isness that is whole and complete and perfect, is perfection itself, is life itself. It never is born. It can never die. It has no beginning or end. It can’t be improved upon and it can’t be diminished. It is the very source and substance, and cause and effect, and power and presence, and principle and reality of all existence. Its nature is good. Its nature, not a good that’s opposite of a bad, but in all good, an infinite, omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent good that has nothing outside of it and nothing else within it except its own goodness.
Now, if you could just get what I just said, I don’t mean just intellectually but have a realization of it, you will have won the argument because that’s the truth principle – oneness, wholeness, perfection, god only, only god, love only, only love. Now, that’s not our experience. There is only this one life and this one life is great. It’s perfect. It’s the all good. It never changes, but our life experience is the relative perception and projection of this infinite perfection. So, we don’t experience the one real life directly.
We experience through our perception, through the filters of our mind and awareness which become beliefs, which become habits, which create circumstances and conditions. That is what we call life experience. So, life experience can be all over the place. I mean it literally can be anything depending on what dimension you’re in and how much you’re willing to believe in something. You can pretty much experience anything. That isn’t necessarily point to real life. That isn’t necessarily tell you what is reality just as your beliefs don’t tell you what reality is. They tell you your best guess at it and your emotions don’t tell you reality. They tell you what you believe. The reason for this is because life is infinite.
You can’t have a direct experience of infinity, right? Because the minute it becomes an experience, that is not infinite, that’s finite. That’s an experience as the Bhagavad Gita says, Take abundance from abundance and abundance still remains. Take infinity from infinity, you still have infinity left. So, you can never experience the infinite, immortal, eternal reality of god or source. You can have an encounter with it. You can have a realization of it. The minute it becomes some kind of sense or effect or experience, that is no longer it. That is now a relative perception of it which then becomes a relative projection of it. That’s fine. That’s the way it’s supposed to be though this infinite life is supposed to unfold and emerge as it says in the Bible from glory to greater glory, world without end, love, peace, joy, beauty, wisdom, creativity, inspiration without end. There’s no end to its unfoldment. Also, if you could experience it all at once, you’d be done. That would be it, right? You have a great experience of a movie and maybe you’d want to see it again in a few times. Maybe even it’s like an amazing movie with so many labels, you’d want to see it 20 times, but at some point, you’ll be done with it, right? Or, you’ll only want to experience it once every several years or like a great book. So, if you could experience all of life, you would be done with life, but that’s not the nature of life. It’s infinite and it’s forever unfolding as our relative experience.
The truth is there’s only this one life. There’s only this one power, presence, principle, substance and it’s within our consciousness that our consciousness is the one consciousness just at the level of our relative awareness of it. There’s one mind, one consciousness, the mind of God, the intelligence of the universe, the all-knowing, all-containing, all-possessing, perfect mind. We are a center in it. We are like God knowing itself as individual being. We’re a center in it, and it’s unfolding. So, we have the capacity to tap into it but it’s all within this consciousness that is within us. This is why Jesus said, Take no thought for your life, for the clothes you’ll put on and the food, wherewithal you shall be clothed, et cetera, but seek first the kingdom of heaven which he also said was within you. Then, he said, And then all those things you’ve been striving after, those will be added unto you. Buddha also taught us to go within. Lao Tzu, Guanyin, Shankara and the greatest masters and teachers all said that ultimately the solution and the answer to everything outside of you is inside of you, either go within or you’ll go without. Okay?
So, that’s like the fundamental rock bottom perennial teaching of the ages is that all answers are within you, as it says above the Oracle of Delphi know thyself and the Self meaning really the capital S. Now, you can certainly know all the layers of the self, and it’s valuable to do that. Ultimately, the realization of our true self, our true nature, this kingdom of heaven, this realm of truth, this nirvana, this reality of being, our connection with that, our communion with that, our deeper and purer identification with that, and the more we’re able to live and move and have our being in that, the more everything resolves itself and the more our life reveals more and more bounty and abundance and goodness. That’s why it also says in the Bible, If you dwell in the secret place of the Most High, under the shadow of the Almighty, no hurt, no harm can come down in your dwelling place. I’m talking about this dimension with you – consciousness. Now, what does that have to do with the only argument you ever have to win? Well, in the most basic sense, the only lie is that you’re separate from this ultimate reality or ultimate good, that’s the one and only lie. That’s the one and only problem, this sense of separation from it. So, the only solution is the realization of your oneness within.
This isness is the substance and source of everything real. It is the substance and source of all life, all power, all love, all good, all genius, all intelligence, all knowledge, all ideas and therefore everything necessary to live the fullest, most abundant life possible. All of that is contained within this isness, so when you realize your oneness with it, you are now one with all real life and being. I was going to say game over but really now, it’s a game on. Okay? Now, that perfect pattern of infinite potential that you are a unique expression of naturally and by grace unfold as your ever expanding, never ending adventure of joy and creativity and service in the world. It never dies, so it’s ongoing, okay? So, that’s the basic thing. The only problem is our sense of separation from this one life or source within us. The only solution therefore is the realization of our oneness with it. Because when you believe you’re separate from it, you now have beliefs that for example your love is somewhere out there. Now, what does that lead to? All of the problems in relationship, all of us getting into relationships to get loved, all of us twisting ourselves in pretzels to get love or not lose love, pretty much most of human motivation, to get love, to not be rejected, to be accepted so that we get love and feel loved and feel worthy and valuable. If we believe we’re separate from it, all of those problems ensue.
Likewise, what else is contained in the isness? Infinite supply, the substance of all form otherwise known as abundance, the real substance of all wealth. Well, when you believe you’re separate from supply a.k.a. abundance, a.k.a. wealth, what do you do? All of the problems and challenges that is the second probably biggest issue we face as human beings, struggling and striving to make ends meet, willing to do work that is not our true work in order to survive, forsaking our true work and service in order to do something we don’t love and don’t want to in order to survive – lying, cheating, stealing, manipulating, going to work, killing each other, killing ourselves to try to get those dollars or those material things that we think is the source of our supply. This is the real meaning of the love of money is the root of all evil. Money is a symbol, an outer symbol, like the fruit on a tree is not the wealth of the tree. It’s a symbol of the invisible process that produces it. Dollars and all forms of wealth are symbols. Everything in the world is a symbol. It’s not the real thing. It’s an effect or a projection or a symbol of the real thing. So, when you fall in love with the symbol, become attached to the symbol, you produce what you would call evil results – lack, limitation, worry, doubt, fear, conflict, et cetera.
What is the word evil? Live spelled backwards. So, you live backwards to the real principle of life or you live outside in instead of inside out. That’s backwards. Therefore, when you believe the source of your life is outside of you, you’re living backwards, you’re going to produce all the things your human condition calls evil. The love of money is the root of all evil. The love of the symbols of wealth, abundance, power, security is the root of all evil. So, when you believe you’re separate from love, you go crazy. When you believe you’re separate from supply, you go crazy. Those are really kind of the two biggest things. Power will be the other one. If you believe you’re separate from power, and therefore there are other powers – powers of government, powers of parents, powers of spouses, powers of partners, powers of bullets and bombs and enemies and diseases, and then those are the bad powers. Maybe sometimes are bad and then other times, you think there’s good power outside of you – the power of other people to love you, the power of drugs and medicines, the power of even food. So, you believe that all these things outside of you are either a good power or a bad power. That’s what the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil is trying to tell us. The belief that there’s good and evil out there, that there’s even good in evil at all is the pair of opposites to duality. It creates a sense of separation that there’s God over here and the devil over there, good over here and evil over there.
Now, we’re in a constant rat race to try to get more of the good and get rid of the bad. This is also what Buddha meant when he taught fundamentally that freedom from suffering, not so much just releasing desire but releasing this pattern of craving and aversion meaning the incessant need to get or get rid of in order to ultimately be free. The get and get rid of, the pain-pleasure mechanism, the good-bad mechanism of the mind is what the false self is fundamentally made of. So, that gets created from this sense of being separate from God or from good. We then produce this duality of good and evil and then a false self that has to live constantly to try to be more good or get more good and be less bad and get rid of the bad. That, in a nut shell, describes the whole human drama. It’s all based on a sense of separation from the only reality that there is which is god or good which is within you. So, then, what’s the solution to that? Whenever we’re tempted to believe that our good is outside of us, that there’s something bad outside of us, that there’s something good outside of us, what we need to do is ultimately come back within us, find our ground and anchoring within us again and convince ourselves that everything we could ever need is within us because that’s the truth, which is remembering, literally putting the members back together into wholeness again.
Our oneness with god or good whether it’s love, peace, joy, wealth, health, happiness, harmony, it’s all within us. So, we need to remember that. Re-member it. Re-cognize it, recognize it. We need to get back in touch with it. Seek first the kingdom of heaven and its righteousness. We need to wake up again to the truth of who you really are, which is a unique expression of the only thing there is, which is god all good and as that happens progressively, we are waking up, we are becoming spiritually liberated and progressively, it shows up in our life as what we call improvement. The other side of that is whenever we’re tempted to believe there’s some bad out there, a disease, a war, a person, an ex-partner, whatever, an enemy, we have to now convince ourselves that that’s not true either. That’s an impossibility in God’s universe. There’s only God. There’s only good. There’s only love. There’s only oneness. You can’t have an infinite God plus. This is one party where there is not a plus one. Now, yes, it looks there’s bad and it’s scary, and in the human realm, bad can do bad to good but that’s only because you’re in that belief. If you dwell in the secret place of the Most High and the shadow of the Almighty, under the shadow, under the realization of this oneness, no hurt, no harm can come down your dwelling place. This is also why Jesus and many of the masters were constantly trying to tell us do not judge by appearances, forgive everybody over and over and over again, see through all these appearances, see the truth that we’re ultimately all innocent.
Now, that doesn’t mean you don’t render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s, that you don’t do what you got to do in the short term to make sure that if somebody is hurting themselves or others, they can’t do that. So, if somebody has to be put behind bars, fine so they don’t hurt themselves or others. Even though you close the door of the cell, you don’t close the door of your heart. Your main job is to keep working to see through the mask that they’re wearing, to the Christ of their being, to the Buddha of their being, to the lover and the innocent child of life of their real being. Not easy. That’s why Ralph Waldo Emerson said, God’s works will not be done to cowards.It’s not easy. What’s the alternative? To live in the constant round of pain and suffering, and war and conflict and all of that that is a part of.
How’s that working for you? How’s that working for us as a world? Constant endless wars, conflicts, us against them, partisanship. It will never ever end through our human means because that’s all part of the illusion of duality. That’s all part of the outside illusion. If you try to convince the world, you’re caught in the illusion. If you try to convince your spouse, you’re in the illusion; if you try to convince anybody that you’re good or that you’re not bad, or that they’re good, or that they’re not bad, or that…whatever the case maybe. Convincing and arguing has many levels. Sometimes, it’s just words but then it goes from there to fists, and then it goes from there to bullets, and then it goes from there to bombs. Those are all forms of arguments. Oh, yeah, you think you’re bigger than me. I’m going to convince you that I can destroy you by dropping a bomb on you, by killing you, by taking you to court, by firing you, by divorcing you, by whatever. These are all forms of an argument. You will never win that argument.
You may temporarily win it with one person by like cutting off the top of the weed; it will grow out in another area of your life because you’re still caught in the illusion. You’re trying to argue for a false premise. Even if you’re right, even if you prove that you’re right, you’re wrong. Do you see what I mean? If you could convince somebody that two plus two equals three until they agreed with you, they bow down, and said, You’re right. You’re right. You pop out your chest, Yes, I won the argument. No. You just lost. Now, you’re going to go around and keep spending money that two plus two equals three, and you’re going to go broke. So, every time you try to argue and convince anything outside of you, even if you win it, you’ve lost because the premise of that argument is already false. So, the only argument you ever need to win is the one within you. To bring it down, really down to the ground level… maybe you’ve had this experience. I know I have over and over again when I find myself arguing to convince somebody, let’s say it’s in my marriage or with my kids, that no, I’m not that guy you think I am. I’m not controlling or I’m not dominating or I’m not a boss, or I’m not a know-it-all, or whatever judgment they have of me, which in many cases, they’re actually correct.
What I’m trying to argue for that is that to understand that you’re not really in a relationship; the relationship is in you. Then, you project it onto the screen of your experience and you shadow dance with that person. So, the reason why I had to convince them that I wasn’t a bad guy is because inside of me, I actually believe that I was. I believe that I was controlling and I had shame around the controller. So, if I didn’t convince them, if I let them win that argument and I accepted that I was a controller, I will be in tremendous pain. Well, the ego won’t let that happen. So, it’s going to fight for its life to not feel that emotional pain because to the ego it’s equivalent to danger or death. So, I would fight and fight and fight. I remember one time, it finally just cracking open and I saw somehow, maybe because I’ve been a meditator, I suddenly got some spaciousness and I could see that I was arguing with myself, that I had so much judgment and guilt about this part of myself. I begin to work with that part of me.
This is the shadow work that I talk about and teach. I begin to just fall in love with the controller part of me, seek to understand him, see the gifts in him, to begin to release that resistance and judgment and shame. As that begin to happen, less and less that I have any need to defend myself because I discovered that the darkness and the light are both alike to thee as it says in the Bible and that this shadow part of me was just a wounded part of my divine self. When I really understood him and love him and gave him what he really needed, he came back into my wholeness again. He integrated. Whatever aberrated or destructive ways it was showing up began to show up less and less. It doesn’t mean sometimes people aren’t going to still call you that, but in those cases, if it’s not pushing your buttons, you don’t feel any need to defend and you have a spacious ability to really hear the feedback and potentially make changes if needed, you know that part of you has been healed now. Then, I would go a step further. Now that I wasn’t fighting to prove I wasn’t controlling, because I was controlling and in some cases, it’s really, really good to have use of your controller, and use of the selfish self and all these parts of us where they’re necessary, right? So, if I won the argument that I wasn’t controlling, not only was I going to continue to repress the pain, but I would lose the gift of that part of me. I would not integrate it back into me. If I won the argument that I wasn’t selfish, not only would I be repressing that pain and it would come out again, but I was losing the gift that the selfish shadow has for me. Do you see what I’m saying?
So, but then beyond that, I could then go deeper and see that once this was integrated, there was a deeper, purer, even more amazing, beautiful magnificent being sitting here in my underwear. I could start to affirm that part of me, even more completely and powerfully. I would win the argument because the other side of the argument, what I’m really trying to convince this person is I’m not a bad person, I’m a good person. I’m not unlovable; I am lovable. I’m not unworthy; I am worthy. As I heal the shadow, I could begin to really go deep into a communion and a contemplation of just how deeply and profoundly lovable and valuable and worthy I am. Now, I’m winning the real argument. I’m winning the argument within me that I do matter, that I am valuable, that I am worthy. Now, I don’t need to convince you of that. As I fall into that wholeness and rest into that wholeness, those outer conflicts and arguments start to go away because they were only showing up so that I could have an inner contemplation, an inner argument for lack of a better word. So, I could have a deeper, inner realization and win the argument within me. Now, this is true for other areas. Let’s say I look at my bank account and it appears to be broke or I don’t seem to have enough, I have more month at the end of my money. Well, what’s the lie there? The lie is that I don’t have enough. The lie is that I’m short. I don’t have a lot of abundance that this is the world of lack and limitation. Now, I might go out and argue with that by struggling and striving to make more, by struggling and striving to create more wealth. That’s arguing with those particular facts. Do you see that? I will never win that argument because it’s a false premise.
The false premise I’m trying to prove against is that the world isn’t lacking. The belief is that the world is lacking. My bank account is lacking. I’m lacking. Now, I’m going to prove that I can have more and earn more. So, what I’m trying to prove is already based on a lie. The truth is that I am one with this life of infinite abundance. I’m one with the source of all creation. Infinite supply is within me. So, instead of struggling and striving to manipulate conditions, to basically rearrange deck chairs on the Titanic, I go within. I seek first this inner kingdom, this inner reality of wholeness. I begin to research and apprentice under the truth principles of abundance. I begin to pray and meditate and affirm my oneness with god, with good, with life, with abundance. I begin to pray and affirm because I’m one with the one, that all that the Father has is mine, that the cattle on a thousand hills are mine, that all the riches of life are within me. I’m one. I have a divine inheritance and it’s infinite. It’s exhaustible. All that I could ever need is within me. All of my needs are met abundantly. Everything is working together for my good because the only thing going on is God. I start to feel that. It activates a frequency that is now congruent with Reality. Reality with capital R. So, God responds to you by corresponding to its own nature in you. Life doesn’t happen to you; it happens through you and as you, but it can only happen at the level of consciousness you have discovered.
t can’t force you because there is no life separate from you. Do you understand? So, it wants to be all of itself as you but it can only be as much of itself as you as you have realized it’s true about yourself. So, every one of these challenges and crises, this outer conflict is asking you to make a case for what’s true. Don’t make the case out there whether it’s verbal arguing or physical action that is really a physical argument – struggling, striving, trying to prove yourself, whatever. Make the case within you. Win the argument of truth within you, the truth that you’re one with the one and therefore you’re one with all the power and the presence, and the love, and the life, and the wisdom, and the truth, and the wealth, and the health, and the happiness of the infinite spirit itself that what is true about anyone, anywhere is true about everyone everywhere because there is only one of us here, that all the riches and wonders, and magnificence of the universe are not really out there; they’re all in consciousness. You’re not in the world; the world is in you. The whole kingdom of heaven, the kingdom of God, the realm of the real is in your consciousness. It’s unfolding as an individual experience called your life, creating your own unique expression of the universe. Like a movie projector, what’s on the screen is what’s in the projector. If you don’t like it, you can’t go up and fight with the screen, and twist the screen around and yell at the characters and think they’re going to suddenly become different. It will never work. You have to go back into the projector and change the film. You got to put a new story in there. So, we have to go within. We have to win the argument within.
All issues of life stem from our consciousness. Nothing can come into our life except as the activity of our consciousness. That’s a bitter pill to swallow sometimes, but it’s not a blame the victim statement. There’s no blame or judgment at all, but it is a statement of principle. The fact that you don’t like it is sort of beside the point. The fact that you don’t like the truth that there’s a law of gravity, and if you walk up a cliff, you’re going to fall to your death. The principle of gravity is like… it doesn’t have any personal relationship to you. It doesn’t care what you think about it. It is what it is. The fact that youdon’t like that, if you go in the water and don’t know the principle of buoyancy, you’re going to sink. It’s too bad. You’re going to sink if you don’t live your life in alignment with the principle. If you stick your finger in a light socket, you’re going to get electrocuted because that’s the principle of electricity. If you understand and align with the right principles and don’t do that or wire your house correctly, it’s not going to burn down in a fire from an electrical fire because you’re in alignment with the principle. It’s not personal. It’s principle. The principle is that everything is in your consciousness. Nothing can come to you. It has to come out of you. If you want your life to be better, stop arguing with everyone and everything outside of you and win the argument of truth within you.
Convince yourself by whatever means necessary of what is true about you, of the highest possible truth, that you are a unique, infinite, indescribable and inexhaustible expression of all the power and the presence and the love of god, of life, that all the infinite wisdom and beauty, and abundance, and boldness, and courage, and strength, and commitment, and power, and confidence, and glory, everything you could ever want, hope for, desire to be all you were created to be is all within you. You brought it all with you and it’s all conspiring for your freedom and fulfillment. Everything is for you. Nothing is against you. You’re in your right place, right work, right relationships, right now maxing out to your full potential, living a destiny of greatness and shining your lights so brightly the people have to wear sunglasses around you and you’re living your dream and giving your gifts and making an impact, and you’re totally supported and loved every step of the way. This, my friends, is the truth. Guess what? As powerful as that may sound, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Who and what you are and what’s possible for us is beyond imagination, but you have to stop arguing with the world and win the argument within.
Yes, yes. I hope this has served you. If you love what you’re hearing or even just like it, please share it with friends, family members, loved ones. Let’s spread the good news. Let’s help everyone win the argument within so we stop arguing with each other. Sign up for the Emergence podcast in iTunes. Download all the episodes so you never lose one. Go to derekrydall.com. In the resources, get some free audios and various goodies to support you. If you haven’t grabbed a copy of my book, Emergence, you can go to www.myemergencebook.com and click on either the Amazon or Barnes & Noble button, get a copy, and then I’m going to give you a whole bunch of bonuses like over a thousand dollars in other programs and coaching and support. If you want to get a free mini e-course on the law of Emergence, go to www.lawofemergence.com. Again, I hope this has served you, my friends, my fellow Emergeneers. Until next time. Remember to live authentically, love unconditionally and follow your destiny.
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Welcome to this Quantum Prayer bonus episode.
Today we begin to release whatever is in the way of your full self-expression and integrate and heal whatever is appearing as self-sabotage.
Wherever you are in the time zone, whenever you’re listening to this, know that a quantum prayer is always active because it’s coming from a vibration that’s not in time or space. It continues to operate whenever you listen to it, for as long as you listen to it, until it fulfills itself.
So, I invite you now to get still and go within…
Listen to the audio to get the full quantum prayer to help you to access and activate the authentic self that’s emerging, and to release it from the confines of the old paradigm, self-concepts, or ego programming.
To Your Emergence!
Stay inspired.ired!
Derek
Subscribe to Podcast in iTunes, Stitcher, via email or Android
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This is an important question that so many people can relate to.
One assumption that many mistakenly lean on is, that if something is challenging or when the doors aren’t easily opening for something you’re pursuing, it’s a sign from the Universe that you’re not supposed to do it.
Although things you pursue and are working towards can often be very challenging, it’s not a sign from the Universe that you’re not supposed to keep pursuing it.
The only real sign you’re not supposed to pursue something is you no longer want to.
For my full explanation, listen to the in-depth podcast on the subject, where I break it down and help you to apply this in your life TODAY. This will be a real game-changer.
To Your Emergence!
Stay inspired!
Derek
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I speak about this subject in various ways, almost everytime I talk…
How many places and pockets are there in our lives where we’re waiting?
We’re waiting for our miracle, waiting for someone to save us, waiting for the economy to get better, waiting to be loved or seen, waiting for our body to heal, waiting to have enough money… And then we’ll live life.
Somehow, we think that something needs to change before we can really show up, create our ideal life, and really live full out.
To support you in mastering this, listen to the in-depth podcast on the subject, where we break it down and put it into real-life practice TODAY. This will be a real game-changer.
To Your Emergence!
Stay inspired!
Derek
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Subscribe to Podcast in iTunes, Stitcher, via email or Android
